Friday Funnies 9/21/12

Late again!  At the rate I'm going, I may need to rename these posts to Saturday Sillies or Weekend Wackies!

Me: Daddy is leaving. Say bye!
G &E (in unison): Bye Dad!
Rick: Bye!  I'll be back in a little while!  Be good for your Mom!
Me: And take a nap!
Elena: We will take a nap.... and be punks! 
Grant: Yea! We will be punks, Dad!
Rick: Ok! Bye!
Elena: Watch out for Polar Bears!
Rick: Um... ok!  I will watch out.
(Rick leaves)
Me: Polar Bears?  Are there Polar Bears outside?
Elena: Yep!  And if you see one, you gotta stop! Just Stop! And you can't go or drive or walk or nuffin'!  Then you gotta say, "Get outta here you Polar Bear!"  Then they will go and you can keep going!
Grant: But if you don't stop... (very serious and quiet)... they will eat you! (Pause/subject change) Yaina - wets finish our party decorations.


Grant was pounding on the back door to be let in, but I was giving a baby a bottle.
Me: Elena, will you go open the door for Grant please?
Elena: (without looking up from her coloring, not sassy, just matter of fact) No.
Me: Please sissy!  I'm giving the baby her bottle.
Elena: (still no eye contact) No.
(Grant is still pounding on the door)
Me: Please-- I'll give you a hundred bucks!
Elena: (finally looks up) A hundred bucks? A hundred?
Me: Sure!
Elena: What's a hundred bucks?

I was in the kitchen doing the dishes when I realized it was much too quiet in the house!
Me: Elena! Grant!  What are you doing?
Elena: I'm just watching cartoons Mom.
Me: Where is Grant?
Elena: In da bafroom brushin' his teef!
Me: Hmm- or making a mess.
Elena: Yep- prolly makin' a mess.
So I walk down to the bathroom to find Grant scrubbing the bathroom sink.
Me: Hey Bub!  Whatcha' doing?
Grant: I gotta get my chores done before everybody gets here!
Me: I don't think anyone is coming over today.
Grant: Mom- you never know. And my teacher says I gotta do all my chores.
Me: Oh-ok. Well finish up. It's almost time for lunch.
Grant: (looks up from his diligent cleaning) It's gonna take a while.
That kid cracks me up!

Friday Funnies 9/7/2012 (a little late again)

Earlier this year, Papa Daugherty found out he is diabetic.  Fortunately, he has done a tremendous job of cutting out a lot of sweets, bread and other diabetic no-no's from his diet and has dropped quite a bit of weight and seems to be managing his blood-sugar levels quite well. In the process, the twins have discovered a whole new vocabulary and also like to remind Papa (and everyone else) that too much sugar isn't good for you.

Elena: Can I have some of that pop?
Rick: Yes, you can have a little.
Elena: Does it got dia-bead-uhs in it?

Me: Grant, do you want any ice cream?
Grant: Does it got sugar in it?
Me: Ummm... yes, I'm sure it does have some sugar in it. Why?
Grant: Well da doctor says I can't have sugar cause it makes me have dia-bead-uhs.

Elena: Mommy, Grammy says Papa has No Butt!
Grant: Yea! And he does gots a butt cause everybody gots a butt, right Mom?

Elena: Mommy, how come you don't have a bun?
Me: I'm just going to eat the pork chop.
Elena: You don't like buns?
Me: Actually, I love buns but I'm trying not to eat too much sugar.
Grant: Cause you gots dia-bead-uhs?
Me: No, I don't have diabetes.
Grant: Papa likes buns too but his doctor said no bread for you cause you gots the dia-bead-uhs!

Friday Funnies 8/31/12 (a little late)

I have been slacking on my Friday Funnies!  My first excuse is that my beautiful neice, Audrey Marie was born 2 Fridays ago, so I was distracted with excitement and joy over her arrival!  My 2nd excuse is that I had an extra kiddo for 2 weeks and although he is a good kid, he has WAAAAY more energy than I am used to and I was wiped out!!!  LOL!  And my 3rd and final excuse is that I have been lying to myself!  The worst lie!  I lie to myself and say, "I don't need to write that down... I will remember!"  NOT!  Isn't it crazy how things just completely leave your brain! I literally sat at the computer one evening to start typing all of the funny things that had been uttered around our house... and nothing!  I could not remember a single thing!  {ugh!}

I had my own funny moment this week- at least I LOL'd at myself!

Me: Have you brushed your teeth?
G&E in unison: Nooooo!
Me: Ok- then go brush! And no pushing! Share! And be careful on the chair!.... And all that other good stuff Mom's are supposed to say... {LOL!}
G&E: {Blank stares}


Elena: I can't find my baby!
Me: I think she's in your bed.  Didn't you take her to bed last night?
Elena: Yes and I feeled and feeled all over da place and she's not nowheres!
Me: You lifted up your sheets to look for her?
Elena: No, I just feeled and feeled and she's nowheres in my bed!
{Walk into E's room with her, lift up the sheet-- and Viola! Baby!}
Elena: Baby!  Why were you hiddin' from me?