Friday Funnies 6/29

Me: Elena, why is your shirt all wet?
Elena: {Glare} Cuz I want my binka and you said no.
Me: Honey, don't suck on your shirt. That's icky.
Elena: {Death Glare, no verbal response}
(She definitely has my ability to speak without words. LOL! If you ever get the death glare from Elena, you will know it!)


We left in the van to go borrow a friend's truck to go get a mattress.  When we returned home, we were in the truck. Grant was very concerned about the whereabouts of our van.
Grant: (after a thorough examination) Why is the van a truck now?
Rick: I needed a truck to go get the mattress.
Grant: So you made the van be a truck? (wide eyes)
Rick: (chuckle) Yep, I turned it into a truck!
Grant: (wider eyes) Cuz you said Abacadaba?
Rick: (laughing now) Yep, bub!  I did!
Grant: (with pause) Dad, can you make it be a van again?
(Rick and I both are now in silent hysterics)
Me: Yes he can!  Come on.  Let's go take a bath and Daddy will turn the truck back into a van.
(He reluctently went to get in the tub and continued to ask about the van the entire time.  When he got out, Rick was back with the van.)
Grant: Mom! Mommy! Daddy made the truck be a van again!!!
Me: Oh, thank goodness!
Grant: {Huge Smile}
I love that kid and his awesome imagination!


We were at Relay For Life a few weekends ago and there were all sorts of people.
Elena: (she spotted a baby in a stroller) Aaawww! Look at how big she's getting!
Me: (not recognizing the family or the baby, but smiling) Do you know who that is?
Elena: Nope!




The twins are always in a race to see who can get into their PJ's first after their bath!  They also can switch topics on a dime!
Elena: We gotta win 'cause only one person can win and if we don't win, we won't be da winner!
Me: Umm- yes, I realize that!
Elena: And we won't get da ribbon! (blink-- and new topic)
I have ribbons...  (looks down at her belly) ... in my belly!
Me: You do?
Elena: (pushes her belly out as far as she can) I fink I got a baby in my belly!
Me: (laughing) You do? Why do you think that?
Elena: 'Cause look at how big I can make my belly be.
Me: Well how did a baby get in your tummy?
Elena: They just crawl up in der! Then they gotta be "boringed"!  {LOVE!}

Friday Funnies

I was torturing Brenna with a very loud, very poor sing-a-long to Red Hot Chili Peppers, Under the Bridge, while we were driving in the car tonight. She thought it was hilarious that I was "going crazy" until we were driving past a friend's house and then she was mortified! I loved every second of it! 






Elena and I were face to face the other day, working on counting to 20.  As I was way over-articulating each number with her, she abruptly stopped counting and with great concern, put her fingers up to my lips and said, "I fink your teef are gonna fall out pretty soon." 




My sweet Grant has the best facial and body expressions when he is talking to us.  He makes this face that is difficult to describe except that he looks at you out of the corner of his eye and seems to have a look of humored disgust and a knowledge beyond his years.  He also does the funniest things with his body when he talks.  Hand on the jutted out hip with the opposite leg up on its toes, looking at you out of the corner of his eyes, his head turned half away from you, and this weird shape he makes with his mouth.... like I said, hard to describe really.  He's hilarious.  And now that he talks non-stop, I have a terrible habit of tuning him out. 
I could hear him rambling on and on about something while I was in the middle of changing out the laundry, getting lunch ready and chasing a wild 11 month old daycare kiddo.... when he yelled, "Mom!  Are you listenin' to me?"  And when I looked down to answer him, he was in full expression!  I cracked up laughing, stopped my 500 tasks and said, "I'm sorry. No, I wasn't listening.  What did you say?"  To which he replied..... yes, you guessed it, "Ummmm.... I forgot!"

Friday Funnies!

The twins almost always jump out of the van! When Grant jumped out the other day, instead of taking off running as usual, he just stood there.  I asked him what was wrong and he reached his arm behind him and put his hand on his back and said, "Oh man! My back went out!"  (He's fine now!)

Meanest Mom in the World!

     No- Brenna has never actually said that to me, but I do wonder if she sometimes thinks it.  I try very hard to explain to her why I make the rules that I make (and why I stick to them) and why I make the choices I make for her and for our family.  Sometimes it is simple things like requiring her to do her chores before she goes to a friend's house or making her wear close toed shoes when she rides her bike .  I have seen first hand one of her friends riding a bike while wearing wedge flip-flops and talking on her cell phone!  GAH!  I told this friend, "I would never allow Brenna to do something that unsafe and if I ever found out she did, she knows she would lose her privilege to ride her bike and probably lose her phone too." 
     We also had an incident recently where Brenna was at a friend's house and my phone rang at about 9:15pm- the friend's Mom was calling to ask me if the girls were at my house?  WHAT?!?!?  NO!  It turned out that the girls had gone outside and then decided they should go next door to chat with so-and-so for a minute.  The minute turned into 20 and no one knew where the girls were.  When they brought Brenna home I immediately questioned her about what had happened.  She said she thought the friend had told her Mom where they were going.  I understood why she would think that- because I believe if the situation had been reversed and the friend were here at our house, Brenna would have come back inside to ask if they could go.  What an excellent time for a lesson-- and I went on to remind her that we have seen time after time that there don't seem to be many rules or expectations set at this friends house.  I encouraged her to remember to ask her friend if they have permission to leave the next time she's at any friends' house.
     I think that both of the girls should have known better than to leave without reporting in, but with that said, if you don't set that expectation than why would the average 10 year old think to do that.  I believe that the reason Brenna does half the "responsible" things she does is because I have drilled those expectations in to her and followed up with consequences when she doesn't do what is expected of her.  I like to think that this is defined as "parenting".
     I am not in any way trying to give myself a pat on the back here.  I would be the very first to admit that I make lots and lots of mistakes.  My temper gets the best of me more often than it should. My early morning coffee addiction has prompted even the twins to steer clear of me before my first few gulps.  But when it comes to "raising", "parenting", "teaching" my kids to be respectful, honest children and hopefully competent, contributing adults- there just is no excuse for not giving it your very best!

Friday Funnies

Rick went to the store to buy pork ribs but when he got home he said that he ended up getting pork butt instead.  Let the comedy insue:

Grant: EEEOOOWWW! You're gonna make us eat BUTT?!?!?  Elena, Daddy bought us a BUTT at Walmart and we gotta eat it!  Brenna, Daddy is cooking a BUTT!!!  Daddy, I don't eat BUTT!  Why are you cooking a BUTT?  Bisgusting!  It's a BUTT!
 (Any excuse to say BUTT without getting in trouble)
Rick: It's not actually a butt, it's a roast from the shoulder of the pig.  It will be delicious!
Grant: A pig? Bisgusting!
(Normally I discourage the kids from saying "butt", but it was just too funny! Sometimes you have to choose to laugh!)

Friday Funnies

Me: Elena, come on please. It's time for bed.
Elena: (meandering down the hall with an MP3 player pressed to her ear) Yeah Steve. Ok. I gotta go. My Mom's calling me. (Looks at me as though I have interrupted a very important call)
Me: Who were you talking to?
Elena: My friend Steve. He was telling me he's a boy.
  (Steve must be a new imaginary friend.  Elena has many, but up til now they have all been girls)

(If you do not have an appreciation for poop/fart humor, please feel free to skip this one.)
Grant: (screaming from the bathroom) MMMMOOOOOOMMMMM... I'm poooooooppppp!
Me: AGAIN?!?!?  (This is easily the 4th time today)
Grant: Yep!
Me: Geesh man!  What's with all the pooping?
Grant: (my serious fella) Mom, everyone has to poop. You gotta get it out......{pause} And everyone farts!







For our veggie at dinner I served asparagus.
Elena: Yum! I love spinach!
Grant: It's not 'pinach!  It's Las-Begas!
Elena: Las-Begas?? (Looks at me) Did you get this on your Bacation?