Friday Funnies 12/21/12

Elena's Week

We were at Sapora and they were offering a craft event.  Elena was diligently working on a project...
Me: Maybe we should have your birthday party here.
Elena: Mmm-hmm.  (pause) Or MAYBE, you could invite everybody over and when I walk in they will all yell, SURPRISE!... and I would be so happy! .... and then they would give me a bike!

I was scrolling thru Facebook on my phone and Elena spotted a photo of my dear friend, Vicki's baby...
Elena: Mom! Mom!  Stop! Go back up!... Up!... More!... There!... Look at that baby Mom!
Me: Yes, isn't she pretty?  Her name is Olive.
Elena: (gushing) Oh, she's lovely.... but I will call her Kara.

Elena: Mommy, why are you taking that medicine?
Me: Well.... this medicine is so Mommy doesn't have any more babies.
Elena: (very concerned) Oh Mommy... that's not very nice!

Friday Funnies 12/15/12

Me: Grant, are you hungry?
Grant: No.
Elena: Grant, are you hungry?
Grant: No.
Elena: He's not hungry Mom.
Me: Yes- I know.  I just asked... and he answered me.
Elena: Well, he said he's not hungry.  He's coloring.
Me: He's just like Picasso.  I won't interrupt him again.
Elena: And he's just not hungry. I asked him.


Me: Whatcha making?
Grant: A present.
Me: Who is it for?
Grant: For Santa.
Me: Oh- that's very nice of you.
Grant: Yep. Santa doesn't ever get any presents and giving is what Christmas is all about! (this a line from a movie they have been watching over and over, but at least it's registering with him)
Me: Grant, you are Mommy's sweetest boy!
(I kissed him on the cheek, to which he immediately rubbed it off and glared at me as though I had just spit on him with my evil Mother venom!  Oh boys!  So sweet!)


Grant: Mommy, I needa go potty!
Me: Ok. Oh wait! Is Lucas still in the bathroom, honey?
Grant:  (shouting at the bathroom door) Lucas, are you still in there honey?!?!?

Grant: When I grow up I want to be a fire fighter!
Elena:  ... and when I grow up I'm gonna be a Great Big Mama Kitty!

Elena: Mom, where can I put this?
Me: Just hold on to it until we get home.
Elena: I'm just gonna put it on the floor.
Me: ugh!  Elena, why do you even bother asking me the question if you aren't going to do what I tell you to?
Elena: 'cause it's still nice to ask!


Grant: Moooommmmy, I pooooped!
Me: Grant, how much longer am I going to have to wipe you?
Grant: Mommy, I'm not big like Daddy yet!
Me: So I have to wipe you until your as big as Daddy?!?!
Grant: Yeah!
Me: Great!

Friday Funnies 11/16/2012

Me: Did I tell you Danny broke his ankle?
Brenna: Yea- I heard you and Steph talking... he fell in a ditch...
Grant: (interrupting and yelling) A DITCH? A DITCH?  DITCH and WEEWAH?  DITCH and WEEWAH?
(Brenna and I cracked up laughing because he got so excited and we weren't sure what he was talking about.)
Me: Grant, what are you saying?
Grant: DITCH and WEEWAH!
Brenna: Lilo and Stitch?
Grant: Duh!
(we definitely need to work on those S's and L's)

Early morning conversation with Elena- she was coloring and I was getting her a bowl of cereal:
Elena: Is it adorable?
Me: Adorable? Um, yes it is adorable.
(put cereal on the table)
Elena: Mom- this is a Diego bowl!
Me: What? Oh! Ha ha! A "Dora" bowl!  Got it!  I need more coffee!

Grant: (sticks his tongue out at me)
Me: What did I say about sticking your tongue out?!?  Do it again... go ahead... stick it out and see what happens!
Grant: No!
Me: Go for it!  Stick it out so I can grab it!
Grant: Mom don't tell me to do it!  Are you trying to trick me?

Me: Grant, does Quinn have a marker?
Grant: No- it's just a knife.
(Don't worry, it was a little plastic play knife)

Friday Funnies 10/12/12

One-liners:
Grant: Quit making so much laundry for me!
Grant: Mom, only boys get to pee outside, right?
Grant: My fortune says I'm gonna go to Africa!

Elena: I can't find my baby Dora and I'm gonna have a meltdown!
Elena: I'm sorry Mom... and I forgive you! 
Elena: Mom, read my fortune... does it say I'm gonna get some money?


The kids were talking to Rick on the phone while he is in Minnesota. Keep in mind Elena has an excellent imagination and powerful story-telling skills!
Elena: Dad, where are you?
Rick: I'm at my hotel.
Elena: Are you far, far away?
Rick: Yep- I'm in Minnesota about 8 hours away.
Elena: How did you get there if it's so far away?
Rick: I drove my car.
Elena: Hey Dad, my sister Alicia is there too and she's missing me cuz she's far away!
Rick: Oh-uh-ok!
Elena: Dad, I have a plan! (plans are her new thing) Do you know where to find my sister Alicia?
Rick: Um, no I don't.
Elena: Dad, do you know how to get to town?
Rick: What?
Elena: Do you know how to get to town?
Rick: Um, I guess so.
Elena: Mom- it's a far town. He doesn't know how to get to far town. (shakes her head)
Me: Well, he might know.
Elena: Dad, do you know how to get to far town? Alicia is in far town and she's missing me.  She can't drive back here cuz there's fog... and she can't see... she might have to walk.... (trailing off)
Me and Rick: {laughing}
Elena: I will find her myself!



Grant: Yum! I love Owanges!
Elena: Owens?
Grant: No- Owanges!
Elena: You can say Owen and Oranges!
Grant: Yep!



Elena: Mom, look! I want that baby!
Me: You already have lots of babies!
Elena: I want to go to a garage sale and get a new one!
Me: You don't need any more babies.
Elena: Mom, I have a plan!
Me: You do?
Elena: Yes!  When I get big, I'm gonna be a Mama and put a baby in my tummy and then I will make her be boringed (born).


Elena got in bed with me overnight because she was cold, but when I woke up she was gone.
Me: Sissy, why did you go back to your own bed last night?
Elena: Mom, you were breavin' in my face and going (insert snoring sounds)
Me: What?!?!  I don't snore!
Elena: Ya huh Mom!  And your breaf stinks!
(Oh, the love)

Friday Funnies 10/5/12

Grant: Mom, do you want me to brush your hair?
Me: Oh yes!  Mommy loves to have her hair brushed!
Grant: Ok.
Me: Just be careful of the pins in my hair.
(He proceeds to very intently brush my hair, but then he starts pulling my bangs out of the bobby-pins)
Me: Ok- thanks bub.  That's enough.
Grant: (so serious) Mom... do you want to look like a punk?!?!


Elena:  Mom, can we watch one more cartoon?
Me: No, it's getting late.  You need to go potty and get ready for bed.
Elena: (sulking) Ok.
5 mins later...
Elena: (whining) Please Mom, can we please watch just one more cartoon please if we promise to be quiet?
Me: (in my tired Mommy growl) No! Go get ready for bed!
Elena: (from down the hall) Grant, Mom said (impersonating my growl) NO!

On a walk...
Grant: Can we go that way?
Me: No, that's the highway.  We need to go this way.
Grant: Oh, cuz we gotta go the Low-Way?

Our dear friend Christy that lives up the street from us was having plumbing issues one evening so she asked if she could come down and give her son Eliot a bath at our house.  I told her that was fine as long as she didn't mind having two additional kids join in!
Elena: Eliot has a little pee-pee 'cause he is a baby...
Christy: Oh- ok.
Elena: ... and Grant has a big pee-pee 'cause he's a big boy...
Christy: Mmmm-hmmm
Elena:... and my Daddy has a really, really, really...
Christy: (yelling) Hey, Carly...
(this is especially funny because Rick is SO private and not a "naked person" at all!)


Elena: Mom, when I find a grasshopper, I'm gonna put him in an acorn so he can turn into a butterfly.
Me: OK!?!?


Elena: Can I have this?
Me: It's a mint and it's hard so you have to be careful not to choke on it.
Elena: Ok.
(a few mins later)
Elena: Mom, I ate my mint all gone.
Me: Ok.
Elena: Mom, I chewed it and then I swallowed it and you know if you do that, it makes your brain healfy (healthy)!


Grant fell asleep in our bed the other night. He was laying on Rick's arm, so I said I would carry him to his bed. We have a king size bed and he was right in the middle, so I had to kneel on the bed so I could reach him. OH MY GOODNESS! He has gotten so stinkin' heavy! I scooped him up and could barely move to get out of the bed. And then Rick and I got laughing so hard that I thought I was going to drop him. He was so zonked out and just dead-weight! I guess I haven't carried him to bed in a while. He's definitely not a baby anymore!

Friday Funnies 9/21/12

Late again!  At the rate I'm going, I may need to rename these posts to Saturday Sillies or Weekend Wackies!

Me: Daddy is leaving. Say bye!
G &E (in unison): Bye Dad!
Rick: Bye!  I'll be back in a little while!  Be good for your Mom!
Me: And take a nap!
Elena: We will take a nap.... and be punks! 
Grant: Yea! We will be punks, Dad!
Rick: Ok! Bye!
Elena: Watch out for Polar Bears!
Rick: Um... ok!  I will watch out.
(Rick leaves)
Me: Polar Bears?  Are there Polar Bears outside?
Elena: Yep!  And if you see one, you gotta stop! Just Stop! And you can't go or drive or walk or nuffin'!  Then you gotta say, "Get outta here you Polar Bear!"  Then they will go and you can keep going!
Grant: But if you don't stop... (very serious and quiet)... they will eat you! (Pause/subject change) Yaina - wets finish our party decorations.


Grant was pounding on the back door to be let in, but I was giving a baby a bottle.
Me: Elena, will you go open the door for Grant please?
Elena: (without looking up from her coloring, not sassy, just matter of fact) No.
Me: Please sissy!  I'm giving the baby her bottle.
Elena: (still no eye contact) No.
(Grant is still pounding on the door)
Me: Please-- I'll give you a hundred bucks!
Elena: (finally looks up) A hundred bucks? A hundred?
Me: Sure!
Elena: What's a hundred bucks?

I was in the kitchen doing the dishes when I realized it was much too quiet in the house!
Me: Elena! Grant!  What are you doing?
Elena: I'm just watching cartoons Mom.
Me: Where is Grant?
Elena: In da bafroom brushin' his teef!
Me: Hmm- or making a mess.
Elena: Yep- prolly makin' a mess.
So I walk down to the bathroom to find Grant scrubbing the bathroom sink.
Me: Hey Bub!  Whatcha' doing?
Grant: I gotta get my chores done before everybody gets here!
Me: I don't think anyone is coming over today.
Grant: Mom- you never know. And my teacher says I gotta do all my chores.
Me: Oh-ok. Well finish up. It's almost time for lunch.
Grant: (looks up from his diligent cleaning) It's gonna take a while.
That kid cracks me up!

Friday Funnies 9/7/2012 (a little late again)

Earlier this year, Papa Daugherty found out he is diabetic.  Fortunately, he has done a tremendous job of cutting out a lot of sweets, bread and other diabetic no-no's from his diet and has dropped quite a bit of weight and seems to be managing his blood-sugar levels quite well. In the process, the twins have discovered a whole new vocabulary and also like to remind Papa (and everyone else) that too much sugar isn't good for you.

Elena: Can I have some of that pop?
Rick: Yes, you can have a little.
Elena: Does it got dia-bead-uhs in it?

Me: Grant, do you want any ice cream?
Grant: Does it got sugar in it?
Me: Ummm... yes, I'm sure it does have some sugar in it. Why?
Grant: Well da doctor says I can't have sugar cause it makes me have dia-bead-uhs.

Elena: Mommy, Grammy says Papa has No Butt!
Grant: Yea! And he does gots a butt cause everybody gots a butt, right Mom?

Elena: Mommy, how come you don't have a bun?
Me: I'm just going to eat the pork chop.
Elena: You don't like buns?
Me: Actually, I love buns but I'm trying not to eat too much sugar.
Grant: Cause you gots dia-bead-uhs?
Me: No, I don't have diabetes.
Grant: Papa likes buns too but his doctor said no bread for you cause you gots the dia-bead-uhs!

Friday Funnies 8/31/12 (a little late)

I have been slacking on my Friday Funnies!  My first excuse is that my beautiful neice, Audrey Marie was born 2 Fridays ago, so I was distracted with excitement and joy over her arrival!  My 2nd excuse is that I had an extra kiddo for 2 weeks and although he is a good kid, he has WAAAAY more energy than I am used to and I was wiped out!!!  LOL!  And my 3rd and final excuse is that I have been lying to myself!  The worst lie!  I lie to myself and say, "I don't need to write that down... I will remember!"  NOT!  Isn't it crazy how things just completely leave your brain! I literally sat at the computer one evening to start typing all of the funny things that had been uttered around our house... and nothing!  I could not remember a single thing!  {ugh!}

I had my own funny moment this week- at least I LOL'd at myself!

Me: Have you brushed your teeth?
G&E in unison: Nooooo!
Me: Ok- then go brush! And no pushing! Share! And be careful on the chair!.... And all that other good stuff Mom's are supposed to say... {LOL!}
G&E: {Blank stares}


Elena: I can't find my baby!
Me: I think she's in your bed.  Didn't you take her to bed last night?
Elena: Yes and I feeled and feeled all over da place and she's not nowheres!
Me: You lifted up your sheets to look for her?
Elena: No, I just feeled and feeled and she's nowheres in my bed!
{Walk into E's room with her, lift up the sheet-- and Viola! Baby!}
Elena: Baby!  Why were you hiddin' from me?

Friday Funnies 8/10/12

Grant: Mom, I'm going to sing you a song about stinky pits!
Me: What?!? Where did you hear a song about stinky pits?
Grant: I learned it myself!
Me: You mean you made it up?
Grant: No, I just learned it.
Me: Ok- let's hear it.

Grant: Stinky pits... stinky pits... I got stinky pits... and you got stinky pits... Everybody gots stinky pits!
{I love having a boy!}



I read a book to the kids about how much we love them.  One page talks about how we love them even when they get in trouble.
Me: Elena, go back to bed! (this was easily the 5th time she had been out of bed)
Elena: But I'm not tired.
Me: It's late and it's bedtime. If you don't go back to bed you are going to get in big trouble and then what do you think happens?  (I was indicating that she would get a spanking)
Elena: You will still love me!


Rick: What did you learn at VBS tonight?
Grant: God is good!
Rick: That's great!  And Elena, what did you learn?
Elena: I was singing my favorite song with.... (pause, looks at me)... what's my best friend's name?






Rick: Look Grant! There is Uncle Ryan's choo-choo!
Grant: Where? Where?
Rick: Way over there! See it?
Grant: I want to go see Uncle Ryan's choo-choo!
Rick: You can see it- it's over there!
Grant: But I want to gooooo seeeee it! We have to gooooo or it will all be ruined forever!
(Not sure where he picked up the word 'ruined', but he uses it to be quite dramatic! Last week all the colors of his whole life were "ruined"!)

Friday Funnies 8/3/12

Me: Elena, you need to wipe your face. It's a mess!
Elena: (walks over and grabs a scarf and wipes her face)
Me: Hey that isn't a towel!  Why did you wipe your face on that scarf?
Elena: Cuz you told me to wipe my face.
Me: But that isn't a towel.
Elena: But we can pretend it is a towel... (big smirk)





Elena: Mom, I'm taking my cat to Africa to find his mother!
Me: Ok- are you going to fly?
Elena: No, he's a cat. Only birds fly.
Me: Oh, are you going to take a boat?
Elena: No, a boat is too slow.... I think if we call Nana she can drive us and we will hafta tell her, "Go Faster! Go Faster!"

Grant was coloring on the computer this morning.  We have a touch screen program that the kids love and I love it because it is completely mess free finger painting!
Grant: (growling noise) It keeps going white!
Me: You colored the whole screen black.
Grant: (more growling) I wanna have it be 5 colors!
Me: Ok, then you have to tap on another color, but don't color the whole screen.
Grant: (BIG GROWL) All the colors of my whole life are RUINED!


(I think an early nap is in order today!)

Friday Funnies 7/27/12

We were at the park and I was up on one of the towers.  I'm not particularly fond of heights, but the twins wanted me to go up with them. I was planning to go down the slide to get down, but it was blistering hot.  So, I was kinda stuck and not exactly sure how I was going to get back down. 
Grant: Mommy, just go down the steps.
Me: I'm kind of scared to go down those steps.
Grant: I will show you Mama.
 (He procedes to climb up and then back down, showing me how to do it.  Then I climbed down.)
Grant: Good job Mommy!
Carly: You saved me Bub! Thank you!
Grant: My Pleasure!  {LOVE THAT KID}

Rick: (shouting) J-E-L-L-O pudding! Mmm Mmm!
Grant: (cracks up laughing)
Elena: DADDY! (using her very best "Mommy" tone) You know you're breaking the rules!
Rick: What rules?
Elena: THE rule!
Rick: (shouting again) J-E-L-L-O pudding! Mmm Mmm!
Grant: (cracks up laughing)
Elena: DADDY! You're gonna be in big troubles!
Me: What rule is Daddy breaking?
Elena: (sly smile) You know.... (shaking her head)
Me: The rule about not talking with food in your mouth?
Elena: No...
Me: ... about using an inside voice?
Elena: You know...
We never did get her to tell us what "rule" she was talking about!  She's such a little Mommy!


Elena: {in full whine} I wanna ice cream saaaandwiiiiich....
Me: You have to eat real food first.
Elena: {whine} I don't like real fooooooood.......
Me: {mimicking her whine} ... then you can't have an ice cream saaaaandwiiiiiich...
Elena: {very serious} I ate cereal.
Me: I meant you have to eat lunch first. You need healthy food so you can grow.
Elena: I don't wanna grooooooooowwwwwww............. I wanna ice cream saaaandwiiiiich...
(40 mins and a respectively healthy lunch later)
Elena: Now can I have an ice cream sandwich?
Me: Yes you can, but there is only one so maybe we should ask Grant if he wants half of it.
Elena: No... he doesn't like ice cream sandwiches.
Me: Yes he does.  Don't you think he will be sad if he sees you eating one and he doesn't get any?
Elena: No- he wants me to eat it all!

Grant: Mommy, I like your earrings.  They're cool!
Me: Thank you Grant!  That was so nice of you to notice.
Grant: Some of your earrings are pretty, but those are cool earrings.
Me: Oh. Well thanks buddy.  That made Mommy so happy that you noticed.  Daddy never notices Mommy's jewelry.
Rick: (deadpan) Gee thanks!

                                                                                                                                                                                        Brenna: Ooh look... chicken!  I love chicken!
 (suddenly sad)  Poor chickens, but they're so good!

Friday Funnies 7/20/12

Grant: BUUURRRPPP!
Me: Bless you!
Grant: {laugh}
Elena: Mom, that's not what you say!
Me: It's not? What am I supposed to say?
Elena: You're supposed to say Excuse You!
Me: How come I can't say Bless you?
Elena: (looks at me like I'm so dumb) ...because it's not spelled right!

Grant: Don't make my hair look crazy Daddy! I want to look like a nice boy!
Rick: Ok- come over here so I can comb it for you then.
Grant: You're doing it wrong!  You're making it crazy! I don't want to be a punk rocker! I want to be a nice boy!
Me: Come here, Bub. Mommy will do it for you.
Grant: Yea, cuz Daddy doesn't do my bangs right!
Rick and Me: {Uncontrollable laughing}
Grant: I wanna see it in the mirror.  Ok- it looks good!

Friday Funnies 7-13-12

My Mom bought me a birthday cake and it had black frosting on it. We got such a chuckle out of how it dyed our teeth and tongues and even our fingers!  Now fast forward about 18 hours and we all had a nice little lesson in digestive chemistry! 
Grant: MOM!!!! I pooped.... and it's BLUE! (like Crayola Blue)

Elena: We need chips.
Me: Why?
Elena: Cuz we're having a chip party.
Grant: And we need blueberries.
Me: For what?
Grant: Cuz it's a blueberry party too.
Me: Oh, of course.  How silly of me!
....10 mins later...
Me: Why are the chips and blueberries on the floor?  Get them picked up!
G&E: (blank stare)
Me: NOW! GO!
Elena: (to Grant) What did she say?
Me:  Grrrrrrrrrrr

Friday Funnies 7/6/12

Me: Nana is here!Elena: I fink she's here cuz she wants some icecream!





Grant: Hey! I didn't get any eggs!
Me: Give me your plate and I will get you some.
Grant: No, I don't want any eggs!





Brenna: ... remember that one time that we went to that place with those people you know...?
Me: Huh?

Friday Funnies 6/29

Me: Elena, why is your shirt all wet?
Elena: {Glare} Cuz I want my binka and you said no.
Me: Honey, don't suck on your shirt. That's icky.
Elena: {Death Glare, no verbal response}
(She definitely has my ability to speak without words. LOL! If you ever get the death glare from Elena, you will know it!)


We left in the van to go borrow a friend's truck to go get a mattress.  When we returned home, we were in the truck. Grant was very concerned about the whereabouts of our van.
Grant: (after a thorough examination) Why is the van a truck now?
Rick: I needed a truck to go get the mattress.
Grant: So you made the van be a truck? (wide eyes)
Rick: (chuckle) Yep, I turned it into a truck!
Grant: (wider eyes) Cuz you said Abacadaba?
Rick: (laughing now) Yep, bub!  I did!
Grant: (with pause) Dad, can you make it be a van again?
(Rick and I both are now in silent hysterics)
Me: Yes he can!  Come on.  Let's go take a bath and Daddy will turn the truck back into a van.
(He reluctently went to get in the tub and continued to ask about the van the entire time.  When he got out, Rick was back with the van.)
Grant: Mom! Mommy! Daddy made the truck be a van again!!!
Me: Oh, thank goodness!
Grant: {Huge Smile}
I love that kid and his awesome imagination!


We were at Relay For Life a few weekends ago and there were all sorts of people.
Elena: (she spotted a baby in a stroller) Aaawww! Look at how big she's getting!
Me: (not recognizing the family or the baby, but smiling) Do you know who that is?
Elena: Nope!




The twins are always in a race to see who can get into their PJ's first after their bath!  They also can switch topics on a dime!
Elena: We gotta win 'cause only one person can win and if we don't win, we won't be da winner!
Me: Umm- yes, I realize that!
Elena: And we won't get da ribbon! (blink-- and new topic)
I have ribbons...  (looks down at her belly) ... in my belly!
Me: You do?
Elena: (pushes her belly out as far as she can) I fink I got a baby in my belly!
Me: (laughing) You do? Why do you think that?
Elena: 'Cause look at how big I can make my belly be.
Me: Well how did a baby get in your tummy?
Elena: They just crawl up in der! Then they gotta be "boringed"!  {LOVE!}

Friday Funnies

I was torturing Brenna with a very loud, very poor sing-a-long to Red Hot Chili Peppers, Under the Bridge, while we were driving in the car tonight. She thought it was hilarious that I was "going crazy" until we were driving past a friend's house and then she was mortified! I loved every second of it! 






Elena and I were face to face the other day, working on counting to 20.  As I was way over-articulating each number with her, she abruptly stopped counting and with great concern, put her fingers up to my lips and said, "I fink your teef are gonna fall out pretty soon." 




My sweet Grant has the best facial and body expressions when he is talking to us.  He makes this face that is difficult to describe except that he looks at you out of the corner of his eye and seems to have a look of humored disgust and a knowledge beyond his years.  He also does the funniest things with his body when he talks.  Hand on the jutted out hip with the opposite leg up on its toes, looking at you out of the corner of his eyes, his head turned half away from you, and this weird shape he makes with his mouth.... like I said, hard to describe really.  He's hilarious.  And now that he talks non-stop, I have a terrible habit of tuning him out. 
I could hear him rambling on and on about something while I was in the middle of changing out the laundry, getting lunch ready and chasing a wild 11 month old daycare kiddo.... when he yelled, "Mom!  Are you listenin' to me?"  And when I looked down to answer him, he was in full expression!  I cracked up laughing, stopped my 500 tasks and said, "I'm sorry. No, I wasn't listening.  What did you say?"  To which he replied..... yes, you guessed it, "Ummmm.... I forgot!"

Friday Funnies!

The twins almost always jump out of the van! When Grant jumped out the other day, instead of taking off running as usual, he just stood there.  I asked him what was wrong and he reached his arm behind him and put his hand on his back and said, "Oh man! My back went out!"  (He's fine now!)

Meanest Mom in the World!

     No- Brenna has never actually said that to me, but I do wonder if she sometimes thinks it.  I try very hard to explain to her why I make the rules that I make (and why I stick to them) and why I make the choices I make for her and for our family.  Sometimes it is simple things like requiring her to do her chores before she goes to a friend's house or making her wear close toed shoes when she rides her bike .  I have seen first hand one of her friends riding a bike while wearing wedge flip-flops and talking on her cell phone!  GAH!  I told this friend, "I would never allow Brenna to do something that unsafe and if I ever found out she did, she knows she would lose her privilege to ride her bike and probably lose her phone too." 
     We also had an incident recently where Brenna was at a friend's house and my phone rang at about 9:15pm- the friend's Mom was calling to ask me if the girls were at my house?  WHAT?!?!?  NO!  It turned out that the girls had gone outside and then decided they should go next door to chat with so-and-so for a minute.  The minute turned into 20 and no one knew where the girls were.  When they brought Brenna home I immediately questioned her about what had happened.  She said she thought the friend had told her Mom where they were going.  I understood why she would think that- because I believe if the situation had been reversed and the friend were here at our house, Brenna would have come back inside to ask if they could go.  What an excellent time for a lesson-- and I went on to remind her that we have seen time after time that there don't seem to be many rules or expectations set at this friends house.  I encouraged her to remember to ask her friend if they have permission to leave the next time she's at any friends' house.
     I think that both of the girls should have known better than to leave without reporting in, but with that said, if you don't set that expectation than why would the average 10 year old think to do that.  I believe that the reason Brenna does half the "responsible" things she does is because I have drilled those expectations in to her and followed up with consequences when she doesn't do what is expected of her.  I like to think that this is defined as "parenting".
     I am not in any way trying to give myself a pat on the back here.  I would be the very first to admit that I make lots and lots of mistakes.  My temper gets the best of me more often than it should. My early morning coffee addiction has prompted even the twins to steer clear of me before my first few gulps.  But when it comes to "raising", "parenting", "teaching" my kids to be respectful, honest children and hopefully competent, contributing adults- there just is no excuse for not giving it your very best!

Friday Funnies

Rick went to the store to buy pork ribs but when he got home he said that he ended up getting pork butt instead.  Let the comedy insue:

Grant: EEEOOOWWW! You're gonna make us eat BUTT?!?!?  Elena, Daddy bought us a BUTT at Walmart and we gotta eat it!  Brenna, Daddy is cooking a BUTT!!!  Daddy, I don't eat BUTT!  Why are you cooking a BUTT?  Bisgusting!  It's a BUTT!
 (Any excuse to say BUTT without getting in trouble)
Rick: It's not actually a butt, it's a roast from the shoulder of the pig.  It will be delicious!
Grant: A pig? Bisgusting!
(Normally I discourage the kids from saying "butt", but it was just too funny! Sometimes you have to choose to laugh!)

Friday Funnies

Me: Elena, come on please. It's time for bed.
Elena: (meandering down the hall with an MP3 player pressed to her ear) Yeah Steve. Ok. I gotta go. My Mom's calling me. (Looks at me as though I have interrupted a very important call)
Me: Who were you talking to?
Elena: My friend Steve. He was telling me he's a boy.
  (Steve must be a new imaginary friend.  Elena has many, but up til now they have all been girls)

(If you do not have an appreciation for poop/fart humor, please feel free to skip this one.)
Grant: (screaming from the bathroom) MMMMOOOOOOMMMMM... I'm poooooooppppp!
Me: AGAIN?!?!?  (This is easily the 4th time today)
Grant: Yep!
Me: Geesh man!  What's with all the pooping?
Grant: (my serious fella) Mom, everyone has to poop. You gotta get it out......{pause} And everyone farts!







For our veggie at dinner I served asparagus.
Elena: Yum! I love spinach!
Grant: It's not 'pinach!  It's Las-Begas!
Elena: Las-Begas?? (Looks at me) Did you get this on your Bacation?

Do you want to.....?

I believe in giving my children choices. 
~We are sitting down to eat breakfast. Do you want X cereal or Y cereal?
~Do you want to pick up your toys or do you want me to donate them to Hope Chest?
~Do you want to play in the front yard or back yard?
~Do you want to put your clothes away before you ask to go to your friends house or do you want to come home to a room that no longer has any clothing in it?
See... choices! 

When I hear parents ask their children... 
~Are you ready to leave?
~Do you want to take a nap?
~Do you want to go to bed?
~Are you going to take a bath today? get dressed today? brush your teeth today? etc etc.
...I cringe!  Those are not choices!  Those are ridiculous questions that I believe parents ask their children because they don't want to feel like they are lording over every "choice" their child has.  Those types of questions only lead to conflict because the parent knows what they need the child to do but most kids are going to say NO.  This seems especially common when there may be a chance of protest. 

I have experienced this first hand with my oldest daughter when she was much younger.  We were at the park and all the kids were deep into play time but we needed to leave.  Instead of telling her that it was time to go, I proceeded to ask her if she was ready to go.  Of course she said no.  To which I began trying to reason with her and explain why we needed to leave.  I empathized with her not wanting to leave and when she still was not choosing to leave on her own accord, I resorted to cheap (and most likely empty) bribes of a treat and the possibility of coming back to the park later.  Needless to say, I think, she was in almost full tantrum as I carried her flailing body to the car. 

I have learned over the years that it is my responsibility to make those choices for my children and not to put that responsibility on them.  I feel that it is just asking for a poor outcome.  I have also learned that by telling them and not asking them, this sets boundaries and expectations that they have all come to understand and abide by.  I'm not claiming that they never protest, but I am proud to say that it is more common for them to follow what I say than to resort to throwing a tantrum.  They understand that I say what I mean and I expect them to do it.

I have found that all of my kiddos seem to do best with a 5 minute warning. 
~We are leaving in 5 minutes.
~It's nap time/bed time in 5 minutes.
~You have 5 minutes to brush your teeth and get dressed.
I'm certain I discovered this purely by accident, but it seems to work so I'm sticking with it. 

Parenting requires a large learning curve and can be tough, but it is also so much fun.  I choose to laugh every day!  And for as much as I feel I'm helping my littles grow into great people, they have equally helped me to grow into being a better Mom.

Friday Funnies

What's that saying, "Imitation is the highest form of flattery"?  Thank you Janna for sharing "Wednesday Wit".  I get such a chuckle whenever I read about the funny things the kids say and do.  So in that fashion, I plan to share Friday Funnies.

While still more than half asleep this morning (6:10am) I notice a little red-head snuggled up next to me...

Elena: (not moving, still bleary-eyed, but smiling) I just pee'd your bed.
Me: (now completely awake) GREAT!!!
  And now for my defining moment: "GET OUT OF MY BED!!!!"

Let the journey begin

Let the journey begin....
So this morning as I was chatting with a dear friend about to do's and don'ts of and absolute absurdity of some parenting styles, I mentioned that I might put a little rant on Facebook declaring my all-knowing parenting skills and everyone else's apparent lack there of!  (please note: MAJOR SARCASM HERE)  But then I remembered how much I despise when others do the same thing.  I digress... 

Lightbulb moment: I'm gonna start a blog! I can rant and rave and carry on about anything I want and no one may ever read it or all sorts of people may read it- I don't really care either way!  I'm hoping it will be therapeutic if nothing else!

In admitting to my own (often hilarious) short-comings as a parent, I have often joked that I was going to write a book titled, Defining Moments on My Journey to Mother-of-the-Year!  I need to lay claims to that most amazing title before anyone else steals it!  Today, Friday, the 25th day of May, 2012; I, Carmella Daugherty, declare ownership of above said title. Amen!

Well, if not a book, maybe this blog!