No- Brenna has never actually said that to me, but I do wonder if she sometimes thinks it. I try very hard to explain to her why I make the rules that I make (and why I stick to them) and why I make the choices I make for her and for our family. Sometimes it is simple things like requiring her to do her chores before she goes to a friend's house or making her wear close toed shoes when she rides her bike . I have seen first hand one of her friends riding a bike while wearing wedge flip-flops and talking on her cell phone! GAH! I told this friend, "I would never allow Brenna to do something that unsafe and if I ever found out she did, she knows she would lose her privilege to ride her bike and probably lose her phone too."
We also had an incident recently where Brenna was at a friend's house and my phone rang at about 9:15pm- the friend's Mom was calling to ask me if the girls were at my house? WHAT?!?!? NO! It turned out that the girls had gone outside and then decided they should go next door to chat with so-and-so for a minute. The minute turned into 20 and no one knew where the girls were. When they brought Brenna home I immediately questioned her about what had happened. She said she thought the friend had told her Mom where they were going. I understood why she would think that- because I believe if the situation had been reversed and the friend were here at our house, Brenna would have come back inside to ask if they could go. What an excellent time for a lesson-- and I went on to remind her that we have seen time after time that there don't seem to be many rules or expectations set at this friends house. I encouraged her to remember to ask her friend if they have permission to leave the next time she's at any friends' house.
I think that both of the girls should have known better than to leave without reporting in, but with that said, if you don't set that expectation than why would the average 10 year old think to do that. I believe that the reason Brenna does half the "responsible" things she does is because I have drilled those expectations in to her and followed up with consequences when she doesn't do what is expected of her. I like to think that this is defined as "parenting".
I am not in any way trying to give myself a pat on the back here. I would be the very first to admit that I make lots and lots of mistakes. My temper gets the best of me more often than it should. My early morning coffee addiction has prompted even the twins to steer clear of me before my first few gulps. But when it comes to "raising", "parenting", "teaching" my kids to be respectful, honest children and hopefully competent, contributing adults- there just is no excuse for not giving it your very best!
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