Friday Funnies 9/21/12

Late again!  At the rate I'm going, I may need to rename these posts to Saturday Sillies or Weekend Wackies!

Me: Daddy is leaving. Say bye!
G &E (in unison): Bye Dad!
Rick: Bye!  I'll be back in a little while!  Be good for your Mom!
Me: And take a nap!
Elena: We will take a nap.... and be punks! 
Grant: Yea! We will be punks, Dad!
Rick: Ok! Bye!
Elena: Watch out for Polar Bears!
Rick: Um... ok!  I will watch out.
(Rick leaves)
Me: Polar Bears?  Are there Polar Bears outside?
Elena: Yep!  And if you see one, you gotta stop! Just Stop! And you can't go or drive or walk or nuffin'!  Then you gotta say, "Get outta here you Polar Bear!"  Then they will go and you can keep going!
Grant: But if you don't stop... (very serious and quiet)... they will eat you! (Pause/subject change) Yaina - wets finish our party decorations.


Grant was pounding on the back door to be let in, but I was giving a baby a bottle.
Me: Elena, will you go open the door for Grant please?
Elena: (without looking up from her coloring, not sassy, just matter of fact) No.
Me: Please sissy!  I'm giving the baby her bottle.
Elena: (still no eye contact) No.
(Grant is still pounding on the door)
Me: Please-- I'll give you a hundred bucks!
Elena: (finally looks up) A hundred bucks? A hundred?
Me: Sure!
Elena: What's a hundred bucks?

I was in the kitchen doing the dishes when I realized it was much too quiet in the house!
Me: Elena! Grant!  What are you doing?
Elena: I'm just watching cartoons Mom.
Me: Where is Grant?
Elena: In da bafroom brushin' his teef!
Me: Hmm- or making a mess.
Elena: Yep- prolly makin' a mess.
So I walk down to the bathroom to find Grant scrubbing the bathroom sink.
Me: Hey Bub!  Whatcha' doing?
Grant: I gotta get my chores done before everybody gets here!
Me: I don't think anyone is coming over today.
Grant: Mom- you never know. And my teacher says I gotta do all my chores.
Me: Oh-ok. Well finish up. It's almost time for lunch.
Grant: (looks up from his diligent cleaning) It's gonna take a while.
That kid cracks me up!

Friday Funnies 9/7/2012 (a little late again)

Earlier this year, Papa Daugherty found out he is diabetic.  Fortunately, he has done a tremendous job of cutting out a lot of sweets, bread and other diabetic no-no's from his diet and has dropped quite a bit of weight and seems to be managing his blood-sugar levels quite well. In the process, the twins have discovered a whole new vocabulary and also like to remind Papa (and everyone else) that too much sugar isn't good for you.

Elena: Can I have some of that pop?
Rick: Yes, you can have a little.
Elena: Does it got dia-bead-uhs in it?

Me: Grant, do you want any ice cream?
Grant: Does it got sugar in it?
Me: Ummm... yes, I'm sure it does have some sugar in it. Why?
Grant: Well da doctor says I can't have sugar cause it makes me have dia-bead-uhs.

Elena: Mommy, Grammy says Papa has No Butt!
Grant: Yea! And he does gots a butt cause everybody gots a butt, right Mom?

Elena: Mommy, how come you don't have a bun?
Me: I'm just going to eat the pork chop.
Elena: You don't like buns?
Me: Actually, I love buns but I'm trying not to eat too much sugar.
Grant: Cause you gots dia-bead-uhs?
Me: No, I don't have diabetes.
Grant: Papa likes buns too but his doctor said no bread for you cause you gots the dia-bead-uhs!

Friday Funnies 8/31/12 (a little late)

I have been slacking on my Friday Funnies!  My first excuse is that my beautiful neice, Audrey Marie was born 2 Fridays ago, so I was distracted with excitement and joy over her arrival!  My 2nd excuse is that I had an extra kiddo for 2 weeks and although he is a good kid, he has WAAAAY more energy than I am used to and I was wiped out!!!  LOL!  And my 3rd and final excuse is that I have been lying to myself!  The worst lie!  I lie to myself and say, "I don't need to write that down... I will remember!"  NOT!  Isn't it crazy how things just completely leave your brain! I literally sat at the computer one evening to start typing all of the funny things that had been uttered around our house... and nothing!  I could not remember a single thing!  {ugh!}

I had my own funny moment this week- at least I LOL'd at myself!

Me: Have you brushed your teeth?
G&E in unison: Nooooo!
Me: Ok- then go brush! And no pushing! Share! And be careful on the chair!.... And all that other good stuff Mom's are supposed to say... {LOL!}
G&E: {Blank stares}


Elena: I can't find my baby!
Me: I think she's in your bed.  Didn't you take her to bed last night?
Elena: Yes and I feeled and feeled all over da place and she's not nowheres!
Me: You lifted up your sheets to look for her?
Elena: No, I just feeled and feeled and she's nowheres in my bed!
{Walk into E's room with her, lift up the sheet-- and Viola! Baby!}
Elena: Baby!  Why were you hiddin' from me?

Friday Funnies 8/10/12

Grant: Mom, I'm going to sing you a song about stinky pits!
Me: What?!? Where did you hear a song about stinky pits?
Grant: I learned it myself!
Me: You mean you made it up?
Grant: No, I just learned it.
Me: Ok- let's hear it.

Grant: Stinky pits... stinky pits... I got stinky pits... and you got stinky pits... Everybody gots stinky pits!
{I love having a boy!}



I read a book to the kids about how much we love them.  One page talks about how we love them even when they get in trouble.
Me: Elena, go back to bed! (this was easily the 5th time she had been out of bed)
Elena: But I'm not tired.
Me: It's late and it's bedtime. If you don't go back to bed you are going to get in big trouble and then what do you think happens?  (I was indicating that she would get a spanking)
Elena: You will still love me!


Rick: What did you learn at VBS tonight?
Grant: God is good!
Rick: That's great!  And Elena, what did you learn?
Elena: I was singing my favorite song with.... (pause, looks at me)... what's my best friend's name?






Rick: Look Grant! There is Uncle Ryan's choo-choo!
Grant: Where? Where?
Rick: Way over there! See it?
Grant: I want to go see Uncle Ryan's choo-choo!
Rick: You can see it- it's over there!
Grant: But I want to gooooo seeeee it! We have to gooooo or it will all be ruined forever!
(Not sure where he picked up the word 'ruined', but he uses it to be quite dramatic! Last week all the colors of his whole life were "ruined"!)

Friday Funnies 8/3/12

Me: Elena, you need to wipe your face. It's a mess!
Elena: (walks over and grabs a scarf and wipes her face)
Me: Hey that isn't a towel!  Why did you wipe your face on that scarf?
Elena: Cuz you told me to wipe my face.
Me: But that isn't a towel.
Elena: But we can pretend it is a towel... (big smirk)





Elena: Mom, I'm taking my cat to Africa to find his mother!
Me: Ok- are you going to fly?
Elena: No, he's a cat. Only birds fly.
Me: Oh, are you going to take a boat?
Elena: No, a boat is too slow.... I think if we call Nana she can drive us and we will hafta tell her, "Go Faster! Go Faster!"

Grant was coloring on the computer this morning.  We have a touch screen program that the kids love and I love it because it is completely mess free finger painting!
Grant: (growling noise) It keeps going white!
Me: You colored the whole screen black.
Grant: (more growling) I wanna have it be 5 colors!
Me: Ok, then you have to tap on another color, but don't color the whole screen.
Grant: (BIG GROWL) All the colors of my whole life are RUINED!


(I think an early nap is in order today!)

Friday Funnies 7/27/12

We were at the park and I was up on one of the towers.  I'm not particularly fond of heights, but the twins wanted me to go up with them. I was planning to go down the slide to get down, but it was blistering hot.  So, I was kinda stuck and not exactly sure how I was going to get back down. 
Grant: Mommy, just go down the steps.
Me: I'm kind of scared to go down those steps.
Grant: I will show you Mama.
 (He procedes to climb up and then back down, showing me how to do it.  Then I climbed down.)
Grant: Good job Mommy!
Carly: You saved me Bub! Thank you!
Grant: My Pleasure!  {LOVE THAT KID}

Rick: (shouting) J-E-L-L-O pudding! Mmm Mmm!
Grant: (cracks up laughing)
Elena: DADDY! (using her very best "Mommy" tone) You know you're breaking the rules!
Rick: What rules?
Elena: THE rule!
Rick: (shouting again) J-E-L-L-O pudding! Mmm Mmm!
Grant: (cracks up laughing)
Elena: DADDY! You're gonna be in big troubles!
Me: What rule is Daddy breaking?
Elena: (sly smile) You know.... (shaking her head)
Me: The rule about not talking with food in your mouth?
Elena: No...
Me: ... about using an inside voice?
Elena: You know...
We never did get her to tell us what "rule" she was talking about!  She's such a little Mommy!


Elena: {in full whine} I wanna ice cream saaaandwiiiiich....
Me: You have to eat real food first.
Elena: {whine} I don't like real fooooooood.......
Me: {mimicking her whine} ... then you can't have an ice cream saaaaandwiiiiiich...
Elena: {very serious} I ate cereal.
Me: I meant you have to eat lunch first. You need healthy food so you can grow.
Elena: I don't wanna grooooooooowwwwwww............. I wanna ice cream saaaandwiiiiich...
(40 mins and a respectively healthy lunch later)
Elena: Now can I have an ice cream sandwich?
Me: Yes you can, but there is only one so maybe we should ask Grant if he wants half of it.
Elena: No... he doesn't like ice cream sandwiches.
Me: Yes he does.  Don't you think he will be sad if he sees you eating one and he doesn't get any?
Elena: No- he wants me to eat it all!

Grant: Mommy, I like your earrings.  They're cool!
Me: Thank you Grant!  That was so nice of you to notice.
Grant: Some of your earrings are pretty, but those are cool earrings.
Me: Oh. Well thanks buddy.  That made Mommy so happy that you noticed.  Daddy never notices Mommy's jewelry.
Rick: (deadpan) Gee thanks!

                                                                                                                                                                                        Brenna: Ooh look... chicken!  I love chicken!
 (suddenly sad)  Poor chickens, but they're so good!

Friday Funnies 7/20/12

Grant: BUUURRRPPP!
Me: Bless you!
Grant: {laugh}
Elena: Mom, that's not what you say!
Me: It's not? What am I supposed to say?
Elena: You're supposed to say Excuse You!
Me: How come I can't say Bless you?
Elena: (looks at me like I'm so dumb) ...because it's not spelled right!

Grant: Don't make my hair look crazy Daddy! I want to look like a nice boy!
Rick: Ok- come over here so I can comb it for you then.
Grant: You're doing it wrong!  You're making it crazy! I don't want to be a punk rocker! I want to be a nice boy!
Me: Come here, Bub. Mommy will do it for you.
Grant: Yea, cuz Daddy doesn't do my bangs right!
Rick and Me: {Uncontrollable laughing}
Grant: I wanna see it in the mirror.  Ok- it looks good!